It's official. IVF #2 is a bust. My RE is out of town, so my phone consult with her isn't until Tuesday. I plan to ask/give her a piece of my mind about the polyp incident. I'm pretty pissed about it. Why just watch it until it's a problem at transfer??? I seriously think they jeopardized my cycle and I'm pissed and they're going to hear about it.
Thank you for the support yesterday. I generally try to avoid dropping f-bombs on the blog, but I just had to use it yesterday. I'd gotten a BFN and stupidly got on the computer to check email and went on fertilebook only to get smacked in the face with an ultrasound photo and pregnancy announcement from an acquaintance from college who recently got married. Not the first time it's happened, probably not the last. We've all been there. I don't want to delete my account altogether, though I did pare down my 'friends' list some, and will probably go further.
Things might get quiet around here for a while. The lab at the clinic is shutting down for maintenance soon and doesn't reopen until June 21, so I'll be taking at least one cycle off - maybe more. I have been on one hormone treatment or another continuously since August and I just need a break. I don't remember who the real me is any more.
A couple of you have recently gotten BFPs and I congratulate you! You may not see me around your blogs right now, but I'm truly happy for you - it's just hard for me right now to see double-lined pee sticks and read about doubling betas.
Some of you are nearing your beta - I wish you the best of luck and hope you make it to the other side!
Good bye little dudes. I was looking forward to getting to know you better. :(
I am so very sorry. Take care these next few weeks. I'll be thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteMeg- Wish I had something to offer to make this journey easier. I agree this past week has totally sucked and everything getting on fb or the 2ww it seems someone is posting a postive beta or pee stick. Although I am so happy that these ladies are finally getting pregnant I am so pissed and yet jealous. Life right now seems so unfair. If you need anything just let me know as we are both experiencing a horrible week. This sure wasn't the outcome for either of us. Praying for strength for both of us and pray that you are doing ok.
ReplyDeleteYou absolutely have every right to question what happened. The polyp and also the trauma cause the day before your transfer. I am so sorry this cycle didn't work. Maybe taking a break and stepping back will help you emotionally. I know after my failed cycle, it was good for me. Thinking of you through this crappy time.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteUgh,...I am so sorry...I hope you do have it out with your doc. Can't imagine all you went through these past few weeks, try to take some time for yourself these next few days. Thinking of you...
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear this news.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, Meg. You are ever in my thoughts <3
ReplyDeleteThis sucks! So sorry for your negative news...but you did make me laugh with "fertilebook". Take good care of yourself!
ReplyDeleteOh no. :( I'm so incredibly sorry... I definitely don't blame for needing a break from blogs, it's hard to be completely happy and over the moon excited for infertile BFPs when your cycle failed. It's not comforting to see an infertile's blog focus go from something you can relate to turn into all about pregnancy/baby. Take all the time you need, we'll be here when you need us! I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers! Take care of yourself! <3
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about your cycle... you have every right to be angry. Can you get a second opinion from another clinic ? Then you might not have to wait so long for lab maintenance either. Thinking of you xoxo
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear about your cycle. I hope you're able to take the time off to heal and regroup. You're in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI'm still so pissed for you. Thinking of you often!
ReplyDeleteIm so sorry Meg! You should definately express your anger about the polyp. You should have at least been made aware of it. We took a break for 3 months last Summer and I've never felt more relaxed than in those months. Take care <3
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