Today's Transfer - a.k.a. One of the Worst Gynecological Experiences of My Life

I never in my wildest dreams could have imagined how awful my embryo transfer today would turn out. To start, it wasn't my RE doing the procedure, nor was it the RE from my retrieval, it was the other RE at the clinic (there are three). She was held up in a retrieval, so after undressing and having my bladder checked and peeing into a cup to give me some relief, we waited, and waited, and waited. We waited so long that the ultrasound tech (my favorite) came in to check and had me pee in a cup a second time. When the RE finally came in, she gave us the embryo report. We had 2 that were 'early blastocysts', 6 that were 'almost blastocysts', and 6 that had arrested. We decided to transfer the two best ones, and hope the rest made it for freeze tomorrow. Then we started to get ready for the transfer. I couldn't scooch down far enough on the table for her, so she had my coordinator, A, and the ultrasound tech messing with the stirrups so that I could get down far enough. It was pretty disconcerting, and not exactly comfortable nor did it leave me with much dignity. Then the RE mentions that my RE had said that I had a bit of a twist and turn in my cervix, which is why she'd had trouble with the last transfer - which seemed weird to me because I didn't remember her having any trouble with my transfer, or with my trial transfer. She put in the speculum and mentioned that I had a polyp on my cervix, and it looked as though it had come through the opening of my cervix and she requested a trial catheter.

This is where it really went down hill. I don't know how long she was actually attempting to insert the catheter, but it felt like an eternity. I was in so much pain, but I was trying so hard to just bear with it, thinking that it would be over soon and we'd get to the actual transfer. Then she says something about needing to remove the polyp, not being able to get the catheter in and cancelling the transfer and for the ultrasound tech to take me to the bathroom so I could empty my bladder. This is when I started to really lose it. The room seemed to be spinning with activity - you could tell that all of the staff were nervous and thrown by this whole thing - as was I. I was doing everything I could to maintain my game face and hold back the tears, but I was not doing a good job. Thank God A jumped right in as soon as the doc was out of the way and assured us this didn't mean our transfer was cancelled, just that we'd have to do it this afternoon or tomorrow. The tech was so nice, and said I could wait a minute to go to the bathroom if I needed some time, but I said I was okay to go. I went to the bathroom, peed, cried a little, freaked out a little about how much blood there was, pulled myself together and the tech walked me back to the transfer room, offering to bring in a box of tissues for me if I needed them. I love her. Thank God she and A were there - they're probably my two favorite staff members at the clinic, next to my RE. The doc came back in and finally explained what was going on in more detail, even drawing a little before and after picture of my polyp. She explained the polyp was nothing to be concerned about, but that she'd have to remove it in order to be able to do the transfer, but it had been there a while as they'd been keeping an eye on it in my ultrasounds (to which I pointed out that it had never been mentioned to me...I still find this a little disconcerting) and that it apparently hadn't been in the way when the other RE did my retrieval, and not to worry about doing a day 6 transfer - that they've done them before and had them result in pregnancy, but we would have to wait because my uterus would be contracting from all the irritation to my cervix. The u/s tech came and got me and said she was going to take me across the hall to one of the regular ultrasound rooms to give me a transvaginal ultrasound to try to visualize the polyp. She then brought in the doc and showed her that you couldn't really see it any more. Great. The doc asked if it was okay if she used the u/s room, the tech said yes, I asked for my husband who had been abandoned in the transfer room, he came in and sat beside me, the speculum went in again and the pain started in again. When I finally vocalized how much pain I was in, the doc decided to use some novocaine. Really? I was thinking in my head...NOW you think to use it??? After she did that, things were a bit better, but the damage was already done. She finally got it out, they sent it off to a lab to check - just in case, and that was it. Everyone left except A - she said I could lay there and rest for a little bit, and not to take anything other than Tylenol for the pain.

What. A. Nightmare.

So....it looks like my transfer will be first thing tomorrow morning. I'm guessing I'll be a nervous wreck for it. I'm still very sore. I'm very crampy, like AF is arriving which is kind of freaking me out because of my chemical last time, I can actually feel my poor cervix it's so sore, and I can't decide if I want to curl up into a ball and sob uncontrollably or go throw a bunch of breakable things at a brick wall. Man, IF is such a cruel bitch. Just when you think you're gaining some ground on her - winning a battle or two, she just comes right back and bites you in the ass.