What's goin' on?

Now that you've got a song stuck in your head - I'll give you the FYI on yours truly. Today is CD2. AF finally arrived yesterday, after a personal record 32 day natural cycle (I'm generally a clockwork 26-28 days). I had some crappy pee sticks around the house, so of course I had peed on a bunch because what infertile wouldn't pee on some sticks when her period is 4 days late and show no surprise whatsoever when it stares back at her with a big white nothingness? I at least didn't do the pee-on-a-stick-only-to-discover-AF-has-arrived move that we've all done at least once in our infertile lives. I'd given up by that point and was done peeing on sticks.

Back up to Sunday...Sunday was epically bad. I had the breakdown to end all breakdowns on Sunday. I literally locked myself in the bedroom for most of the day. My poor husband was locked out of his room with a sometimes hysterical, sometimes comatose, sometimes raging wife inside. My only explanation for the epic nature of this breakdown is the trifecta combination of 8 months straight of IF treatments and failures, combined with a raging flare up of my PMDD, combined with almost four weeks of waiting for said breakdown. I had been waiting for that shoe to drop and it didn't so much drop as plummet to earth like the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs (assuming that's what took them out).

I'm happy to report however, that with the onset of Ms. AF I have bounced back from Sunday. The PMDD has gone back into hiding, my energy is back and I don't feel numb to the world and all of its joys any more. I'm on my second day of BCP, and my RE has put me on a different pill this time at my request. It's the one BCP I've ever been able to tolerate for any length of time - until my hair started falling out that is. But - I only have to take it for 21 days, not months on end, so I'm keeping the fingers crossed that everything will be fine on this one, and that my hair will stay put. It never did fully recover. :/

On a different topic, I have a friend who is just a year older than me that has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. I'm devastated for her, and pray that she'll make a full recovery. It's looking like she's got a long road ahead of her paved with chemo, surgeries and all the other crappy stuff that goes along with cancer. She's such a kind person and is one of the few people I've told about our infertility, even though I've only known her a short time. Please if you would, keep her in your thoughts and prayers. Thanks.