Grossness.

I have felt really, really gross this week. I mean, really gross. I guess it's morning sickness...or at least, my own weird version of it. I feel nauseous almost all day every day. I actually wake up feeling not nauseous, but then once I eat (which I kind of have to do) it kicks right in. I spend my day grazing on whatever doesn't make my stomach churn at the thought of eating (mostly saltines and oyster crackers), and regretting most of what I do eat. I bought some Sea Bands the other day and they seem to help, though they don't make the nausea go away completely. Also I've found that if I sip on lemonade constantly (that's got to be good for my teeth, I'm sure) it makes things better.  I haven't actually thrown up at all though. I feel like I could at any time, and like I'd feel better if I did, but I don't. It's bizarre. On top of that I get heartburn a few times a day, and I've been incredibly gassy. Yep, all that adds up to G-R-O-S-S!

The other thing that's contributing to the all out feelings of grossness is that my sense of smell has become incredibly strong, but only to the gross smells. As I walk through my house all I can smell are the cat's litter boxes, which my husband had been cleaning out regularly. I have to hold my breath while loading dirty clothes into the washer or loading dirty dishes into the dishwasher. When I open the trash can I get hit with a brick wall of nasty smells, and the fridge smells like it's full of rotten food even though it isn't. I've been keeping the windows open as much as possible. Thankfully the weather has been much cooler allowing me to do that.

I am not, however, complaining about any of it. I don't enjoy it, not one bit, but I do find it reassuring. This is what it feels like to be pregnant. It's great to know what it feels like. I've never felt like this before. I'm also happy to report that I've made it past the point of my 1st loss, the ectopic that ended at 6w1d. Today I am 6w2d*!

*My clinic says I'm 6w1d, but I disagree. I think they're thinking of my FET as a 5dt, but the embryos were frozen on day 6 because of my transfer from hell, so I say it was a 6dt, even though I'm not a doctor.