Best Before Feb 18 2012

That's right. I'm 35 today. In the world of (in)fertility, I'm in a whole new category. I'm no longer lumped in with the 20-somethings. I'm now in an elite class of women whose eggs have reached the 'best by' date and now it's just a crap shoot to see how long of a shelf life they really have. They're like that expired carton of milk in your refrigerator door that you open and sniff each morning before pouring it on your cereal, hoping each morning that the smell doesn't make you gag and run to the sink to pour it down the drain, leaving you to eat dry cereal.

I know that all sounds very negative, and I don't really buy into it. But every piece of (in)fertility-related literature that you read puts emphasis on the milestone age of 35. It's the 'do not pass go, do not collect $200' age. My RE tells me I'm still young, and I believe that. She has no concerns about my egg quality, so I don't either. But it's like looking at fashion magazines full of air-brushed size 0 women and telling yourself that you don't have to be that skinny to be beautiful. We know it's true in the far back reaches of our minds, but all the info that we're being bombarded with creates a mind f**k that tells us otherwise.

Whatever, screw it, I say. I was born of a 39 year old egg, and 50 year old sperm, so I know good things come with age. Happy birthday to me. Tonight I'm having sushi and a beer (just one, don't worry) in hopes that it's my last for a good nine months or so, and giving those size 0 models the finger.