That pretty much sums up how I'm feeling about this FET. Let's get this over with. I've been trying to muster up a little hope, or excitement, or anything remotely positive and that's the best I seem to be able to do. Let's get this over with.
Oh well.
This morning was my first date with Mr. Wand for this cycle. I only have to see him two more times. That's a plus for FET. The Lupron's been kicking my butt again - or maybe it's just the summer cold I came down with just in time for the 4th of July. It's hard to tell. All I know is I've felt like crap since Monday. This morning marked the start of my 4 estrogen pills a day (soon to become 6!) and the decreased dose of Lupron. I'm anticipating that the estrogen and I will not get along based on my past experiences with birth control and Clomid.
The past two weeks have not been great. I was diagnosed with arthritis in my right hand two weeks ago, and given a cortisone shot which has helped, but also given a prescription for an NSAID which could potentially interact with the Zoloft I take and is also not safe for the 1st and 3rd trimesters of pregnancy. Don't you just love doctors that pay attention? Jerk. On top of that, I found out that my cat has hyperthyroid disease and has to take two pills a day for the rest of her life and we go back in a month for more testing to see if she has any kidney damage from it. Lovely. Also, my husband's grandmother is more than likely going to pass away in the next couple of days. She's been in hospice for quite some time, and it will be good for her to finally be at peace, but it's been really hard on the family. Also, my friend found out she has to have a bilateral mastectomy...then possibly chemo.
It's no wonder I've been crying quite a bit, eating everything in sight and generally not wanting to get out of bed in the morning. So, yeah - let's get this over with is the best I can do.
It sounds like you are in a really bad place right now and it could be hard to get your hopes up about this being a successful cycle. I just started getting hope back after our failed ivf in March and it took me all these months and alot of different emotions to get to this point. Right now you need to take a deep breath and try to think about yourself and the little embie you have waiting on you. I really hope things improve within the coming days and weeks.
ReplyDeleteThinking, praying, stalking, wishing, hoping that this is IT for you!!
ReplyDeleteOh lawdy Meggola, that sounds like a shit week. and you get to take estrogen on top of it! Hooray!
ReplyDeleteNothing like Mr. Wand to perk up a girl's spirits though, am I right? He doesn't buy dinner first and he doesn't call, but he is very reliable when he has an appointment to get some.
Thinking about you and being WILDLY positive about your FET. Wildly.
I'm sorry you're feeling bad about this cycle. I know a lot of people will tell you to think positively but I won't. Sometimes it's easier just to want things to be over with a cycle so you can start over. And maybe then you could be pleasantly surprised when your hopes aren't up
ReplyDeleteSorry that I'm so far behind on your news :(... and to hear what you're going through. Know how you feel about lacking enthusiasm for a FET... I feel exactly the same way at the moment. Lovely to be cycling with you and hoping that this is our one :) xoxo
ReplyDeleteThinking of you. I really hope this is the cycle for you!
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