Today is one of those days where you just wallow in the gutter. I feel like a failure and a disappointment and can't help but wonder if the universe is trying to tell me that I wasn't meant to be a mother. I feel numb, and so sad and bordering on worthless. This is the lowest of the low days and there really isn't anything to do but wallow. That, and maybe make and eat an entire batch of chocolate chip cookies.
Remember how I mentioned a while back that at least I hadn't gained weight through all of this? Yeah, well, this last cycle undid that little silver lining.
I dont know if this will help or not, but after our 4th failed iui I was absolutely devastated. The fact that we had also done injectables along with iui made our chances even higher and still no success. I knew our next step was ivf and that was a very scary thought. I now feel so good about our decision. The success rates are SO much higher. I think you should absolutely take some time to have whatever feelings you are having. Then lift up your chin and start marching towards ivf with a brand new outlook :)
ReplyDelete1) Eat the cookies today. Eat better tomorrow.
ReplyDelete2) Don't read in to what you think the universe may or may not be telling you. The universe is mysterious, and sometimes when we are wallowing in the gutter we look for the worst. So... stop!!!
I'm sorry you are having one of these days, and I really hope tomorrow (or this evening!) is much better.
Hoping tomorrow lifts your spirits!
ReplyDeleteI'm so with you today...totally feeling the same way. Be kind to yourself, I promise the universe is not sending you a message that you were not meant to be a mom.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry this wasn't THE cycle :( Take time to feel what you are feeling and eat those cookies. It's such a rollercoaster of emotions. When you feel a bit better, focus on the upcoming IVF...I'll be cheering you on!
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