I'm sorry that I've neglected you all lately. I just haven't had it in me lately to write a blog post. My heart's not in all this right now. I'm still fighting the good fight, but I'm growing concerned that I don't have much fight left in me. AF showed up early this time around - just 10dpo. I'm already on day 6 of our 6th and final medicated cycle. This is our last shot before IVF, and I've gotta be honest, I'm not really holding out any hope that this time around will go any better than the 5 before it have. I'm ready to move on. I'm tired of feeling nothing like myself, but just a crazy anxious shell of myself. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of anxiety attacks. I'm tired of early morning appointments at the RE. I'm tired of giving myself injections. I'm tired of Mr. Wand! Oh how I HATE Mr. Wand!!! It's pretty sad when the wand is getting more action than my poor husband is. Life these past several months has not been the best of times, that's for damn sure. I know I'll have to endure all of these things and more for IVF, but it will be different somehow, at least I like to think it will. I like to kid myself. It's how I roll.
I have an appointment on the 17th with my RE to find out what Plan C is. My husband is coming with. I'm starting to form a long list of questions for her in my head - I need to start writing it down on paper because lord knows my mind is made up of cottage cheese these days. Let's hear it for hormones! :/
Speaking of hormones, I read that the FSH in fertility meds comes from the urine of post-menopausal nuns. Does anyone know if this is true? I know I could just Google it...but I figured one of you might know, and also, I just wanted to share that with you. I can't get the image of nuns peeing in special hormone-catching toilets out of my head when I'm doing my injections now. and now, neither will you. :P
This post sounds so familiar. I went through same feelings during our last iui before making decision to move on. I felt so much more at ease once we talked to RE about moving forward. I wish you luck and hope this is your lucky year
ReplyDeleteUuugh, I hate that you are in this place. I'm holding onto hope for you. I know how defeated you must feel. :*( My heart goes out to you. One way or another you are going to get there. I believe it. I wish it wasn't such a struggle though.
ReplyDeleteOMG LOL about nun's pee!! I never heard that :-)
I just laughed out loud at work to the nun thing. That made my day. I hope better days are to come for you. Just a side note about Mr. Wand. I somehow never mentioned this to my love and when he came to an ultrasound I could see him giggling in the corner. He about died when they put it in my who-ha and not on my stomach.
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